February 3, 2022

I celebrated my 75th birthday yesterday. We were invited by our nearest and dearest friends Robrt and Todd to a birthday brunch. Since I met Robrt, my birthday twin, several years ago, we have celebrated together every year on our special day. Todd had texted us an invitation and jokingly added: formal attire? I sent back a laughing emoji, but also had a plan. What a trip when they opened the door to find Tony in his tuxedo and me in a throw-back caftan my mom had made to wear on a cruise for formal night when she was in her 80s!

Yesterday I reminded you about my twenty-first birthday. Today I’d like to bring you up to date, 54 years later.
1968 to 1979 Hindsight being 20/20, I consider those years as my “learning years.” I was heartbroken over Maurice, but it passed rather quickly. What I didn’t realize at the time was the toll it had taken on my self-esteem. My first marriage in 1969 was an attempt to feel the illusion of love, but an attempt that failed. It took many years to realize that I wasn’t being “me” from before – confident, always willing to learn and grow. I had become mired in “just living day to day” and it took a few unexpected events to shake me out of my going-nowhere rut, face facts and make the decision to “start over.”

1979 – 1983 On the day I decided to go on a “man diet,” because I was fed up with double standards and shallow people, I met the man that I would marry. The friendship came first, then the progression to lover, and a proposal of marriage on February 3, 1980. Because we were both in our 30s, we were eager to start a family. Who ever dreams they’ll run into fertility challenges? But after three years of no success and even trying the very new invitro-fertilization technique, failure again. My Tony would tell me the same thing each time: “We have two choices: We can give up or keep trying.” We always chose to continue to fight for our family. I could write volumes on the adoption challenge. But the stars aligned and we were chosen by a birth mother to adopt. We were at the hospital for the birth, and we took our son home when he was nine hours old!

1985 – Because we had become friends with our adoption attorney, we let him know we would like to add to our family. We didn’t know how long this process would be, but two weeks later we met a birth mother who chose us to adopt. This time we got to be in the delivery room and experience the miracle as our second son was born.
1986 – 2012 So many years of career ups and downs, moves around the US, and thriving on the high of watching and helping our sons grow. Times I would not change for anything! I feel like I paid my dues in my first youthful marriage, and now I was getting my reward! My husband provided for our family and I was a stay-at-home mom until our sons were off to college. By far, his greatest gift to me. They have grown into sensitive and loving young men, and to this day they continue to ask our advice, stay close and show us every day how they are our biggest success in life.

2012 – 2022 That’s when I found out that I was on the web! I had never Googled myself, and at that point in time I didn’t know Facebook. I mostly used my computer to keep the family finances on Quicken. Once I found out that YOU were out there and enjoying my posts about back in the day, I was dumbstruck! And the time in my life that had been, I believe, forgotten was now appreciated! Who would have guessed? So, thank you for following me, thank you for embracing my memoir, and thank you for letting me know you appreciated me all these years later.

At twenty-one I had such a small world view. Today, I feel like everything that happened to me from then until now has had a purpose. I got my happy ending and I embrace my hard work “paying off,” making me the luckiest lady in the world.